I received a phone call this morning from an inside source that a certain president was having a foot massage and toe jam removal session during the pre-health care interview sessions with a certain female ABC interviewer who shall remain nameless. Hint: it was not Charlie Gibson.
They were watching the Governor Sanford press conference when they both suddenly rose at the same time. When they did, this awakened the sleeping Chris Matthews in whose lap the president was resting his head.
Matthews left the room with a sudden tingling sensation in his legs.
The president screamed “That right wing nut case is going to steal my thunder! Everyone will tune into the dreaded Fox News Channel to hear all the salacious details! My infomercial is Ruined!!! Ruined I tell you”.
Female interviewer said “I bet even my family would rather hear about the affair. He faked this! We have to alert the press!” At which point the president gave her a blank stare that can only be learned from a broken teleprompter.
Just then, Matthews returned in just his underwear with Billy May’s ear clinched in his left hand and Vince, the Sham Wow guy’s ear in his right. Both were walking sort of sideways going Ow! Ow!
Matthews said “Look who I found lurking at the door”.
The president and the interview maven gave each other an knowing glance, and each cast a Mona Lisa smile to the other and they grabbed Billy and Vince by the arms and took off down the hall yelling “Makeup, Makeup”.
Then my alarm went off and I realized it was all a dream.
The preceding satirical moment brought to you by a 7-11 Bean Burrito and Tequila shooters.