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Categorized | Opinion

How Democrats Get Away With Being Cooler, Smarter, and More Attractive Than Republicans

Still scorched and soured by an election season which raised the corporatist establishment Republicans to the pinnacles of power in our nations’ capital, I can’t help but warm to the GOP’s innocence and naivety in the wake of a mild, but simmering, liberal hysteria, gurgling for split seconds before exploding as if pieces of potassium dropped into beakers of dihydrogen monoxicide.

You see, America must have forgotten how cool, hip, clever, smart, and brilliant the Democrats really are, and, in forgetting, tuned into the programming of meaningless non-political institutions during an election that mattered a great deal to the benevolent dictator, Barack Obama. That’s why the Republicans won. On the one hand, being bastions of brilliance, such as all Democrats are; cast iron cauldrons of coolness and cultural relevance, the Democrats simply high-browed the election during a time of mysterious social distraction. And in America’s bewildered state of cultural confusion, the racists and the bigots, the sexists and homophobes, usurped power in an accident of anarchistic nihilism.

So, let’s let go the liberal lie, once and for all. There is nothing cool about believing in Welfare, Global Warming (especially during an ice age, it’s cold outside!), and Marxism, during an age when Hydraulic Fracking has reduced global gasoline prices. Mia Love, Tim Scott, and now the presidential candidacy of Doctor Ben Carson, are ruining everything for the Democrat Racialists, hoping that America would forget that the Democrats are the perpetrators of slavery, segregation, and the drug war.

Democrats own the media, and in owning it, allow themselves to position their postures in such a way as to pretend the intellectual and pretentious position of cultural posterity. Democrats aren’t cool, unless Nazi’s are cool.  They aren’t smart, unless the KKK is smart. They aren’t wise, unless FDR refusing to engage in the protection of a people being exterminated in Europe is wise.

So why do Republicans get the fuzzy end of the stick, socially? Because they are owned by Corporatists that cannot conceptualize reality in terms categorically castigated from economic narcissism.

Tim Scott, Mia Love, Ben Carson don’t fit neatly into the liberal characterization of Republicans. They have to go!

Here’s the thing: Freedom is cool. Fascism and Communism is wack. Or simply, not too legit to quit.

The Republicans are winning on the basis of the fact that minorities are kind of into freedom; which of course means they’ll rarely vote Republican, but they aren’t into the Democrat Party. That’s right libs. They are just not that into you.

Is Mitch McConnell going to right the ship? If you said maybe, then maybe all my support of the Libertarian Party has been in vain, maybe drugs should be illegal. McConnell is going to do what McConnell always does – he’s going to try to empower Mitch McConnell.

What does America love? A Movie called God is Not Dead, Heaven is For Real, Duck Dynasty, Sarah Palin, Ted Cruz, Mike Lee, and Rand Paul. You conservatives, you Christians, you Constitutionalists aren’t a minority – you’re just not in power.

Republican need to get “with it”.  Mitch McConnell, John McCain, Bob Dole, and Mitt Romney aren’t cool. Ted Cruz, Sarah Palin, Mike Lee, Duck Dynasty, and Rand Paul are. Freedom is fun and freedom is cool. Democracy and Fascism and Communism suck. They are uncool. Liberals are not cool. Let it be known. Freedom is in. Fascism is out. If MSNBC doesn’t like that, then screw them. Join me, Freedom is fun. Does this mentality cause problems? If I said no, my parents would say that I lie, so ok, freedom may cause some issues. Worse than our government? No. What could be worse than that?

The point is this: Let’s be free together. Nothing is cooler than freedom. Nothing is smarter than freedom. Nothing is more fun than freedom. The Democrats love the guns of government, the caprice of congress, and the nihilism of a Narnia of Government. Let’s be free and mock those that oppose us.

About Steven Brodie Tucker

Graduated with a degree in Philosophy from Virginia Polytechnic Institute and State University. Also studied economics and political science at George Mason.

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Tom White Says:

Nothing is more conservative than a republican wanting to get their majority back. And nothing is more liberal than a republican WITH a majority.

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