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If Presidential Candidates were Hairstyles Hillary Would Be a Mullet

HillaryMullet

Presidential hairstyles are important. Often, they say a lot about the personality of the candidate and give us a glimpse into the type of president they might be, if elected. The Photoshopped image hillary-clinton-10above is as fine a mullet as man has ever known. And, like Hillary herself, greatly exaggerated. The picture is the actual mullet Hillary often wears between reinventing herself.

So what do we know about the mullet hairstyle and why is that an appropriate presidential predictor for Hillary?

What Hillary and the Mullet have in common:

  • Both Hillary and the Mullet burst on the scene in the late 1970’s. Hillary as the first lady of Arkansas and the Mullet as the “do” of a handful of sissy-boy rock stars like Rod Stewart and David Bowie. Neither Hillary, the Sissy-boys nor the mullet hairstyle itself were of any great notoriety, but they all started making money just the same. Well, not the mullet. It just hung there. But those who were around in the 70’s may remember that the mullet was originally called a shag. But for the mental health of our British readers I will not mention Hillary and “shag” in this article.
  • The mullet was not actually identified and classified until the 90’s, like Bill and Hillary when the Beastie Boys wrote the song “Mullet Head”. Conspiracy Theorists opined that the song was actually about Hillary. The lyrics”You wanna know what’s a mullet? Well, I got a little story to tell. About a hair style that’s a way of life. Have you ever seen a mullet wife?” was a direct reference to Hillary. And other’s believed it was all about Bill’s Big Haired Bimbo’s that erupted on the scene multiple times over the years.
  • A lot of people pretended to like both Mullet’s and Hillary, but there was little truth to that. Both were “bad fads” that have lingered far longer than they should have.
  • Mullet’s and Hillary are universally disliked and snickered at behind their backs. Though people still pretend to like both.

I know what you are thinking. “At this point, what difference does it make?” Right?

Hillary is old and haggard looking and and a freshly cropped mullet with some hair coloring and streaking to hide the gray is an improvement. But truly, isn’t she just painting rotted wood?

And what is it about a mullet that makes the voice of the wearer collide with the ear drums like fingernails on the chalkboard? compare Hillary a Hillary speech and Billy Ray Cyrus’ “Achy Breaky Heart”. Our enemies would scream for water-boarding rather than spend time listening to either.

And I know the Mullet has been glorified, take the video below “Ze Mullet”:

Doesn’t that make you want to go out and get a Mullet? And vote for Hillary? And spend some quality time line dancing to Billy Ray?

So let’s face it.

Anyone seriously supporting Hillary for president has to embrace the Mullet. There is no getting around it. When you long for old things from the past, you often get just that.

If you are ready for more Clinton Truth like the “vast right-wing conspiracy” or the missing Rose Law Firm billing, the missing emails, the missing security in Benghazi, the stain on the blue dress, the “Clinton Flu”, Vince Foster and parsing words like “is”, you might as well go ahead and vote for the Mullet Candidate.

I suppose it could be worse. I hear Joe Biden is thinking of reinventing himself with a rat tail.

rsz_rat_tail

 

About Tom White

Tom is a US Navy Veteran, owns an Insurance Agency and is currently an IT Manager for a Virginia Distributor. He has been published in American Thinker, currently writes for the Richmond Examiner as well as Virginia Right! Blog.Tom lives in Hanover County, Va and is involved in politics at every level and is a Recovering Republican who has finally had enough of the War on Conservatives in progress with the Leadership of the GOP on a National Level.

20 Responses to “If Presidential Candidates were Hairstyles Hillary Would Be a Mullet”

  1. I laughed when i read this. What kind of hairstyle makeover would Donald Trump get?

  2. hairstyles
    Twitter:
    says:

    cant say nothing, but i like thread! lol

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Tom White Says:

Nothing is more conservative than a republican wanting to get their majority back. And nothing is more liberal than a republican WITH a majority.

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