One of the most amazing events that occurred during the Virginia Tea Party Patriots Convention over the weekend went unnoticed in the Mainstream Media, yet it’s significance cannot be understated.
One of the singularly most important political events in the Political Blogosphere since 1933 when the 21st Amendment was ratified, restoring the free flow of political dialog and alcohol took place at the event. I was there to witness the astonishing transformation.
Liberal Blogger Not Larry Sabato, who later picked up the rather odd sounding moniker Ben Tribbett, drifted aimlessly into the Virginia Tea Party Patriots Convention in Richmond, initially believing it to be a Rahm Emanuel for Mayor rally.
A disoriented and confused Ben Tribbett wandered up to Bloggers Row, deep in the heart of the main exhibition hall and asked Blogger SWACGirl where he could find the Gays for Global Warming and Health Reform Islamic Center table (apparently a cause Ben truly supports), or the bathroom, whichever was closer.
Seizing the opportunity, SWACGirl, who has picked up the rather odd sounding moniker Lynn R. Mitchell (where do they get these names?) immediately began talking common sense Conservative values, smaller government and lower taxes to Not Larry.
I can tell you folks, the logic and reasoned thoughts emanating from the sly SWACster was like nectar to the ears of Mr. Not Larry, though I imagine less sticky.
Not Larry mounted the usual liberal argumentative technique known as “talk over your opponent” but like resistance to the Borg, that was futile. SwacGirl is a Mom who is immune to that.
Next, Not Larry played the Bush card, and just when it looked like he was about to move in front of the argument, a loud and thunderous sound broke his concentration. The thunder was actually an ovation for Virginia Attorney General Ken Cuccinelli who, as the fates sometimes dictate, chose that moment to make his Tea Party Convention appearance.
A deep and ominous look of foreboding and impending doom imprinted itself across Not Larry’s face. His jaw dropped, his head spun around twice and when Cuccinelli began speaking, it was like Dorothy had thrown a bucket of water on the Wicked Witch.
The Liberalism within vaporized and the stench of big government and high taxes permeated the air, hovered, and was gone in an instant. The smell of ozone and cordite replaced the stench. Tears began to stream down Not Larry’s face as his jaw unclenched and he was reborn!
“It’s a miracle, I tell you;” exclaimed a passerby.
Music played and we danced and sang Kumbaya and quoted Ronald Reagan well into the night. Reminiscent of Sly in Shakespeare’s The Taming of the Shrew, Not Larry is now held in highest regard by all members of the TEA Party. A true Nobleman of the vast right wing.
The rebirth of Not Larry and his transformation into a Teabagger is one of the greatest moments that will live forever in the History of the Tea Party Movement.
Hearing this story even made Glenn Beck cry.
Not Larry and I, your humble recorder of historic moments, have now reached an understanding and in the highest act of mutual friendship and respect have added each other to our respective Christmas Card lists.
I am proud to call Not Larry “Ben Tribbett” Sabato friend!
And he’s on the fast track to BFF.