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Cuccinelli Repairs Wardrobe Malfunction on State Seal as Lefty Blogs Lament Loss of Titillation

Virginia Attorney General Ken Cuccinelli issued lapel pins to his staff sporting a modest redesign of the goddess Virtus, who was famous for her Janet Jackson like exposed breast (to the left, anyway). Although the goddess Virtus or Virtue is more often depicted sans wardrobe malfunction, some on the left are upset that one of their sensual idols has been covered up.

One can only imagine an evening in the abode of a left wing blogger. Candles casting a romantic glow on the Marie Callender Pot Pie, still steaming from the microwave, a glass of milk to the side. The basement fluorescent lights, although switched off, cast a ghostly, yet warm ambiance on the dungeon like bedroom / storage area.  Mom has just gone to bed upstairs and the blogger locks the basement door. After tweeting a couple of racial jokes, he sits down to a candlelight dinner for two.

First, he pulls up his favorite music – J Geils Band’s My Angel is a Centerfold.

Next, he pulls up a full color picture of the Virginia State Seal from his favorite dot gov website and settles in for some late night risqué dinner and romance.

Suddenly, his dream girl is fully clothed!

In the old days you would hear a needle scratching across the record at this point, but with MP3’s, all that is heard is a shrill, girly shriek and the cursed name:

Attorney General Cuccinelli

That bas$%rd stole my chick.

The basement light flashes on. Mom knocks on the locked door.  “Lola, honey. Are you OK?”

Crap. It’s Mom. Our lefty scrambles to close the browser with the Goddess Virtus picture and suddenly realizes it is no longer necessary. Mom will never guess. Ok. I should probably hide the lipstick, he thinks.

“I’m OK, Mommy. Just dropped a book on my toe. Go back to bed.”

By now, the mood was ruined.

You can easily see why they hate Ken Cuccinelli so much. Now they’re gonna hafta find another fantasy chick.

How sad!

About Tom White

Tom is a US Navy Veteran, owns an Insurance Agency and is currently an IT Manager for a Virginia Distributor. He has been published in American Thinker, currently writes for the Richmond Examiner as well as Virginia Right! Blog. Tom lives in Hanover County, Va and is involved in politics at every level and is a Recovering Republican who has finally had enough of the War on Conservatives in progress with the Leadership of the GOP on a National Level.

2 Responses to “Cuccinelli Repairs Wardrobe Malfunction on State Seal as Lefty Blogs Lament Loss of Titillation”

  1. I would like to start off by thanking you for the useful information you are supplying! I will definitly bookmark your URL for future reading.


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Tom White Says:

Nothing is more conservative than a republican wanting to get their majority back. And nothing is more liberal than a republican WITH a majority.

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