Categorized | Satire and Humor

Earthquakes Indirect Result of Global Cooling

As the earth cools, the climate change believers, or Climate Birthers as we call them, continue to move the temperature collection and monitoring stations closer and closer to the equator in an attempt to prove their failed theory.

This rapid and massive movement of equipment has caused considerable pressure around the equator, which in turn is causing a shifting of the tectonic plates to equalize the pressure.

A consensus among scientists predicts the ultimate destruction of the earth as the collective weight of the heavy metal mercury in thermometers crushes the molten core of the Earth, causing a massive and devistating blast that will rip the Earth apart.

One group is looking at releasing massive amounts of CO2 around the equator as a possible solution. This release will cause an increase in vegetative growth, shading the collection stations and at the same time limiting the oxygen to the brain of the hysterical Climate Birthers, having the same effect of placing a paper bag over the mouth of a hyperventilating person.

It is hoped that this solution will snap these idiots out of their trance before they destroy the planet.

About Tom White

Tom is a US Navy Veteran, owns an Insurance Agency and is currently an IT Manager for a Virginia Distributor. He has been published in American Thinker, currently writes for the Richmond Examiner as well as Virginia Right! Blog. Tom lives in Hanover County, Va and is involved in politics at every level and is a Recovering Republican who has finally had enough of the War on Conservatives in progress with the Leadership of the GOP on a National Level.

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Tom White Says:

Nothing is more conservative than a republican wanting to get their majority back. And nothing is more liberal than a republican WITH a majority.

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