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Political Recipes: Nancy Pelosi’s ‘Nutty Nana’ Fruitcake Cocktail; Boehner’s Filet Mignon; Obama’s Economic Recovery ‘Stone Soup’; Cantor’s Fiscal Conservative Club Sandwich

John BoehnerJohn Boehner’s Filet Mignon with Brown Onion Gravy Recipe

Go to your local deli and ask them to slice a roll of bologna about 1 1/2 inches thick. One slice per person.

Sear the bologna over high heat in a cast iron skillet until dark brown on both sides.

Set the bologna “fillets” aside and keep warm.

Add 1 cup of Pure Pork Fat to the hot pan, melt.

Add 1/4 Cup flour and stir until the mix becomes dark brown.

Add a 12 oz bottle of Guinness Beer to the pan and stir over low heat until thickened.

Just before serving, cut one medium onion in half and hold near your eyes. Allow the tears to drip into the Onion Sauce for flavoring.

Cover bologna with sauce and refrigerate. This dish is best served cold.

Of course these Boehner Fillet Mignon’s are 100% bologna and the Onion Gravy does not actually contain onions, only tears and beers.

This dish is a favorite among RINO Republicans like John McCain and Lindsay Graham who actually pretend that it is real steak. It is also a favorite dish of Marco Rubio although he prefers his made with an imported Amnesty Wine instead of the Guinness.

And never try to pass this dish off to true Conservatives. They can tell it’s bologna immediately.


barack_obama_smoking_weed1Barack Obama’s Economic Recovery ‘Stone Soup’ Recipe

Take a large pot and place it over high heat. Fill the pot with plain water for which taxpayers pay Trillions of dollars.

When the water comes to a boil, drop a stone from any “shovel ready” job site into the pot and allow the trillion dollar water to boil until completely evaporated.

Carefully remove the stone and discard.

Then tell the Mainstream Media that they are all full and enjoyed the soup immensely.

The media and left wing liberals will all applaud at how filling and tasty the soup was while Conservatives are left with the bill saying
“what soup”?


cantor1031Eric Cantor’s Fiscal Conservative Club Sandwich with ‘Mierda de Pollo’ Mayonnaise Recipe

For each Sandwich take two thin slices of bread and dip in sour goat’s milk.

Toast lightly on both sides over an open fire.

Liberally spread ‘Mierda de Pollo” Mayonnaise on both slices of Milquetoast. (If you don’t speak Spanish or need the recipe for “mierda de pollo” mayonnaise click here.)

Add one blank, signed government check on one slice of the Milquetoast and cover with the other slice.

This sandwich is then served to Barack Obama garnished with Buffalo Chips while telling the American voters how fiscally conservative you are and demanding that Obama stop the out of control spending.

A side of “You Cut” braggadocio may be served as a dip.


And for desert!

13561945_nancy_pelosi_xlargeNancy Pelosi’s ‘Nutty Nana’ Fruitcake Cocktail Recipe

This is a simple recipe that calls for several gallons of Government paid Gin from Nancy Pelosi’s weekend jaunt jet that used to ferry her from D.C. back to the “Land of Fruit and Nuts” aka California.

Soak your favorite nuts along with an assortment of your favorite fruits in a large black cauldron until the fruit is pickled.

One hour before serving add one tablespoon of Wandering Eye of Newt Gingrich and a pinch of Ginger. If Ginger is not available you can substitute a pinch of Mary Ann or Callista as long as they are fresh.

Strain into Big Gulp cups (These are available at any Mayor Bloomberg Surplus shop) and drink as many as you can.

You are now ready to give a public statement!

This “Nutty Nana” Recipe is rumored to be the inspiration for the Rolling Stone’s song ‘Honky Tonk Women’. (This is as yet an unproven urban legend.)

But the lyrics below give this away:

I met a gin soaked, bar-room queen in Memphis,
She tried to take me upstairs for a ride.
She had to heave me right across her shoulder
Cause I just can’t seem to drink you off my mind

(Note – the Stone’s song ‘Jumping Jack Flash’ also contains a line that may be attributed to the Nutty Nana – “I was raised by a toothless, bearded hag” but that is still being investigated.)


Bon Appetit!


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About Tom White

Tom is a US Navy Veteran, owns an Insurance Agency and is currently an IT Manager for a Virginia Distributor. He has been published in American Thinker, currently writes for the Richmond Examiner as well as Virginia Right! Blog. Tom lives in Hanover County, Va and is involved in politics at every level and is a Recovering Republican who has finally had enough of the War on Conservatives in progress with the Leadership of the GOP on a National Level.

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Tom White Says:

Nothing is more conservative than a republican wanting to get their majority back. And nothing is more liberal than a republican WITH a majority.

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