Categorized | News

Really Funny Clinton Heart Jokes

These are a riot. Thought I would share.

I love listening to those traffic reporters in New York. One guy even referred to rush hour backups as “Bill Clinton Traffic”… because all the major arteries were clogged.

Bill Clinton insisted they rename the ambulance taking him to the hospital Ambulance One. And he decided to run against Obama in 2012. He’s even got a new campaign slogan: No chest pain, no gain. … He said he wanted four more years but his doctor is only giving him two.

Big news coming out of Washington, Bill CLinton will be running again for president. He says he is very healthy and that he has a doctor watching him 24 hours a day. This is a big improvement, it used to be a coroner.”

As Clinton told CNN, he has been 100 percent heart attack free since ascending to the ex presidency. He added, ‘In fact, rather than giving me stress, being an ex president has actually fueled my blackened soul, allowing me to gorge vampire-like on the bloody nectar of unlimited power.’ I’m sorry that should have read ‘I never felt better.’

No one knows if Osama is still alive. They keep showing old footage of him on TV saying that he’s live. You know, it’s like the same thing we do with Bill Clinton.

Clinton said the only thing that could keep him from running again is another double bacon cheeseburger

At Hilary’s last birthday party Bill CLinton had a huge steak and battered onion rings for dinner. Afterwards he met with 100 donors, not campaign donors, heart donors.

Bill Clinton, I wouldn’t give this guy’s troubles to a monkey on a rock. He gets his electric bill. He doesn’t live in the White House anymore. He gets his electric bill and it is $186,000. I am telling you he should have gotten the solar-powered pacemaker. You would have a big electric bill if you had to use those electric paddles eight times a day. On top of all that Clinton is always horse. He can’t talk. Of course, that’s from yelling all day: ‘Quick, my heart pills, quick!

According to doctors, George Bush has the lowest heartbeat ever recorded by an ex president. Well, second lowest. Bill Clinton got his down to zero a couple of times.

President Obama played golf yesterday and I understand Bill Clinton also got in a couple of strokes.

In an interview with CNN this week, Bill Clinton said he may need more heart surgery. Clinton says his doctors have advised him to cut out all red meat, avoid stress and drop the extra 175 pounds (Obama picture on screen) that have been weighing him down.

While speaking to conservationists this week, Bill Clinton made it clear that he plans to deal with the rising gas prices by drilling in our federal wildlife refuge in Alaska. Clinton tried to sway his opponents saying trust me, there’s enough oil up there to last us the rest of my natural life

Obama celebrated his first year in office the other day . So Obama invited Congress to a luncheon and only a third of them showed up. Seems, kind of rude, doesn’t it? But to be fair who wants to watch Bill Clinton have his soup intravenously?

Oh. Sorry. Were those jokes a bit rude and insensitive? Before you complain, let me clue you in that these are “jokes” told by Jay Leno, David Letterman and Tina Fey, plus a few others about Dick Cheney.

You probably won’t hear any of these type of jokes about Clinton.

Wonder why?

About Tom White

Tom is a US Navy Veteran, owns an Insurance Agency and is currently an IT Manager for a Virginia Distributor. He has been published in American Thinker, currently writes for the Richmond Examiner as well as Virginia Right! Blog. Tom lives in Hanover County, Va and is involved in politics at every level and is a Recovering Republican who has finally had enough of the War on Conservatives in progress with the Leadership of the GOP on a National Level.

4 Responses to “Really Funny Clinton Heart Jokes”

  1. Cameron E. says:

    “You probably won’t hear any of these type of jokes about Clinton.
    Wonder why?”

    Hmmmm… maybe it’s because they’re not funny unless the subject is an insensitive asshole?


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

CommentLuv badge

Tom White Says:

Nothing is more conservative than a republican wanting to get their majority back. And nothing is more liberal than a republican WITH a majority.

Sign up for Virginia Right Once Daily Email Digest

No Spam - ever! We send a daily email with the posts of the previous day. Unsubscribe at any time.
* = required field

Follow Us Anywhere!