Categorized | Satire and Humor

You Stay Here While I Swim and Get Us Some Universal Health Care

Below is a hilarious, tongue-in-cheek look at the hoopla the Democrats are generating surrounding the death of Ted Kennedy. While the Liberals are exploiting Kennedy’s death with a memorial filled with more meaningless drivel than a Senate filibusterer, hoping to use his death to advance their takeover of Health Care, David Burge, The Iowa Hawk uses humor to counter some of this exploitation.

The irony of this whole Kennedy exploitation by Democrats is the plan they are trying to thrust upon us is one that Teddy himself wouldn’t have touched with a 10 foot pole. Like the rest of Congress.

Special Guest Commentary
by Senator Edward M. Kennedy (D-MA)

The statistics are sobering: the cost of American heath care is rising almost as fast as the cold, briny water bubbling up from our floorboards. So far we have already lost the 8-track player and several Vic Damone tapes, and if allowed to continue these trends threaten to engulf all of us within the Oldsmobile. We must quickly wake up and face the facts: inaction is no longer an option. That is why it is critical for the future of all the occupants that one of us swim off and get us some kind of free health care program. I nominate me.

Why me, you ask? As I explained to you back at the party, I am passionate about many things. Politics, sailing, the art of Leroy Niemann, Dewar’s, my etchings. And let’s not forget that sweet tight body of yours, which I must say looks stunning in the watery glow of the dashboard lights. But did I also mention my passion for universal heath care? Hey Baby, ol’ Teddy Bear is all about that. As the Conscience of the Senate, I have led the fight to win comprehensive national medical benefits for you and other vulnerable Boiler Room Girls who have been denied coverage by their heartless employers. I fervently believe we’re all on this boat together. Okay, Oldsmobile. Now, if you’ll just let go of my arm, I’ll make a break for it and continue the fight for your health care rights back at my lawyer’s office.

There is MUCH more and it gets even better, if you can believe that. Please visit Iowa Hawk to read the entire story.

About Tom White

Tom is a US Navy Veteran, owns an Insurance Agency and is currently an IT Manager for a Virginia Distributor. He has been published in American Thinker, currently writes for the Richmond Examiner as well as Virginia Right! Blog. Tom lives in Hanover County, Va and is involved in politics at every level and is a Recovering Republican who has finally had enough of the War on Conservatives in progress with the Leadership of the GOP on a National Level.

2 Responses to “You Stay Here While I Swim and Get Us Some Universal Health Care”

  1. My condolenses to the entire family. In time you will heal, everything happens for a reason.

  2. My condolenses to the entire family. In time you will heal, everything happens for a reason.


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Tom White Says:

Nothing is more conservative than a republican wanting to get their majority back. And nothing is more liberal than a republican WITH a majority.

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